Me: I am a weak person, I don’t think I can deal with this. Therapist: What makes you think you’re a weak person? Me: People say because I cry, I’m emotional and sensitive about certain things that makes me weak. T: Have you ever met a person who hasn’t cried or wasn’t ever sensitive in his life? Me: Umm… nope! They had their moments. T: Exactly! Would you say your mother is a weak person? Me: Of course not. T: So, can we say that you are weak in certain moments because they are not in your control, and that doesn’t make you a weak person as a whole? Me. Yes. Thank you.
Does this mean people don’t call me weak/sensitive anymore? Well, not. It is just that I no longer take it as an insult because now I know better. It says less of who I am than it says more of who they are as a person. The right people will see it as your strength 😉
I mean just look at Harry Styles or Timothee Chalamet! It’s these qualities that make them a hundred times more attractive. So here’s to being soft and sensitive!
I have so much of this love to give, things to do, and life to live that sometimes it gets so overwhelming and I don’t know what do with it, where to put it all. And as time goes on this feeling keeps digging deeper and deeper into my heart. Now it’s so deep that it seems as if there’s this neverending pit which I am not sure how to fill it up or heal, or how to not feel this empty anymore.
I think people lie when they say time heals everything, it doesn’t really. You just get better with filling that hole and keeping your mind distracted with meaningless things. And while you’re busy distracting yourself, some day, someone comes along and shows you other side of the world, shows what you’re missing. And you cant lie to yourself any longer, you want things to change, and you want to be a part of that other side.
So the only option you are left with is to be, open and vulnerable and hope that they’ll do the same. But mostly no one does. They are somehow so good at concealing it all so well that its always me who is left behind wearing my heart on my sleeve. I’m afraid I’ll die with this endless hole in my heart. I wish there was some way I can fill it up with my own love. May be with time I’ll learn that as well. May be some day, but not today. Today is just another day where I sit through my feelings and curse everything and everyone.