I get the same set of questions almost every day on Instagram. So, please, go through it once before we can have an actual conversation.
1. Why you’re not an artist?
People need to understand that a person can be good at 2-3 things at a time. I am equally good at my job as I am at drawing. Unlike many other people in IT industry, I love programming. And fortunately, I get paid well for doing the thing that I love.
2. Why you’re single?
Because I have deeply rooted emotional issues and a debilitating fear of abandonment which fucks up every decision I make and then I self-destruct my life. Hopefully, that answers your question. 🙂
3. Are you a professional photographer?
Nope, photography is a hobby for me. I’m neither confident and nor do I have time, currently, to be a professional. Maybe in future.
4. Where are you from?
India, Mumbai. Where exactly in Mumbai? Please just don’t. I hate uninvited guests.
5. You’re an artist/photographer? Can you please draw/shoot me?
For money? Absolutely. For free? Absolutely not.
6. How old are you?
So that you can decide whether to hit on me or not? I look like I’m 16, that should be enough information for you.
7. When are you getting married?
The exact moment when every planet in the universe lines up. It seems to be a once in a lifetime opportunity to get married.
8. Can I get your number? We can talk on Whatsapp/ Can I add you on Fb/Linkedin/Twitter/Instagram.
Okay, then what? Come to my home or workplace, follow me on streets, watch me eat and breathe? This is how you start being a creepy stalker, so just don’t.
9. What do you do? What exactly being a UI Developer means?
All the pretty websites you see on the internet are developed by UI developers. I am a UI developer.
10. Why are you so short?
I don’t know man, I’m really afraid of heights, maybe that’s why?!!
11. Are you free on weekends?
Please don’t pressurize me with questions like these. If you know me anything at all then you’ll be aware that I have planned at least 3 months of weekends from today.
“Nothing much”. If I’m stuck somewhere and you’re my last hope with my battery at 1% and you text me “wassup?”, my answer is still going to be “nothing much”. Let’s not waste both of our time.