Secret Garden

My experience with a copy cat.

A few years back I met this certain guy and eventually, we became friends. We started hanging out and became best of friends in no time. It was a feeling I never knew existed as you know I am completely unable to sustain any kind of relationship with men in my life. Being friends with a guy felt like a huge accomplishment to me.

My new best friend always seemed a bit confused and lost in his life. He didn’t know what he liked, what he didn’t like, what he wanted to do with his life, what are his hobbies, what his career path should be, and something, as basic as what kind of music he prefers. With time, I started to relate to him as I was in his place at some point. I started dreaming this perfect picture where I will save him, fix him, I will be his hero and he will worship me forever and ever. *Spoiler alert* nothing of this sort happened, obviously, this is real life and not some hopeless romantic comedy.

It all started with helping him with picking out his outfits. And in no time he was dressing up like me, talking similar to me, he started drawing and painting, learning programming and photography. He also started his own Instagram photography account, with little excerpts as captions just like me. At first, I was enjoying all the attention and it felt as if we are twinning but little did I know that he, in fact, was cloning.

Every little thing I did he’d copy me and make it his own thing. It went as far as plagiarising my work. I had begun to feel like I was being robbed of my creativity, uniqueness, my personality, and my identity. I had put in almost half a decade to be who I am and where I am right now, and he took it all from me in only a few months.

As he was dealing with his own identity crisis I had started to feel like an impostor in my own life. I cut my hair short and stopped straightening my hair. I gave up drawing and taking pictures. I gained weight, lost my confidence at work; I had no idea what I was doing. This was not me. I have never been that kind of a person who doesn’t know what to do. It came to the point where I couldn’t take a glance at myself in the mirror.

It took me several months to come to a conclusion that if I want to save myself I need to cut him off completely. Anyway, I am glad we are not friends anymore. Now, whenever I see anyone twinning with me, I run the hell away from them. I wouldn’t risk my identity for anything or anyone. So shouldn’t you!.

 


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